Support

Episode 1: Introduction!

breah@deliberateu.com (Breah Robinson) — Fri, 25 Nov 2022 16:07:41 GMT

Welcome to Episode 1 of Their Best Parent!

As a parent myself, I was always looking for someone slightly ahead of me, sort of like a mentor or a guide, not someone who had it all together or that's what they presented. Because my life hadn't been altogether and I couldn't relate to that. But instead someone who knew that life could be tough and that each child was unique with different strengths and struggles. Someone who would encourage me that the path wasn't straightforward or easy, but was manageable in its imperfection. I wanted to be reminded that there was joy in the learning and growing, not just when we arrived at the result, but in the journey and mishaps as well. This kind of support, I knew, could bring out the best in me and I wanted my children to get and my life to represent the best of me because I knew I was going to be my child's, their best parent.

So my people have been encouraging me to share my experience and my conviction about the power of learning cause I really have a heart to support you. So here I am, taking my bravery pill and stepping in and doing my podcast.

So think of me walking alongside you, going along a nice street or in the park or in the nature setting and we're just speaking to each other about some of our common struggles. We're providing each other ideas and a smile of encouragement to say, you know, yeah, you are, you are good enough, you are their best parent. Yes, we make mistakes, we need more patience or we need to have more boundaries, yet no one will be a better support for them. It's hard to believe that we have this kind of influence on our children as we can be acutely aware of where we fall short. But for them, our children, we love them the most and as a result we are highly invested in their journey and so we are their best supporters. I am speaking to you as a person who's been there and done that.

I have some experience. I've raised four adult children. I homeschooled them through the elementary years, really idealistically as a teacher, I knew what was possible in the school system and I really wanted to give them my undivided attention and see what was possible in their education. I then supported them in their high school studies in public school and delighted in watching each of them graduate university and as they now make their way in their careers. I've also walked miles as a teacher, so twelve years as a homeschool elementary teacher and twelve years now and currently as a high school teacher. And I've invested twelve years in tutoring and building a tutoring business, hoping to create an integrated academic support system for you, the parents to draw from.

I myself love to learn and I've always sought out to learn from experts in each of the avenues I pursued. And I've put those into my practice to hone the approach of how each student can get their results and meet their goals. Yes, I see the gaps and yes, I see the themes. So I don't want to give you simple solutions, because there isn't one simple solution that's going to serve you. But I want instead and see the power of walking alongside you to help your child build strong habits in the behaviors and strategies that they understand bring them success. So this process of building their understanding of how they learn that empowers them to face future challenges. I'll share in more detail in a future podcast.

So this podcast is for you. I want to help you normalize the struggle. I want to give you tools that, when used consistently over time, will produce results. Supporting your child's academic foundation is not for the faint of heart. There will not be quick results and easy answers. And the reward is great. All of those investments of time and oversight will pay off in increments. At times you will grow weary, but do not lose heart, for in due time, you will see the fruits of your labor.

So that's that's a wrap. This ends the first episode of their best parent. Yes, that's you.

Thanks for listening.

How to support your kids

Sat, 24 Sep 2022 08:13:15 GMT

Back to school - setting the stage for an awesome year!

The school year is now in full swing!

Are you beginning to feel the pressure mount in supporting your child’s academics?

It’s hard not to. We know that good habits are the key to success and yet…we are juggling so many things…..

I invite you to pause and reflect on a few key tips for prioritizing what matters most in your child’s academic success, so that we, as parents, can be our child’s best support.

Here are the four tips!

1.Pay attention to your child - Free up moments of focused intentional time every day for each child. 5-10 minutes a day can make a huge difference.

Notice what makes them unique?
Are they mentioning any issues or concerns from school? What may be underneath what they are telling you? For more details on how to do this well and why it is important, click here for our blog post with tips to focus your attention .

2.Use invitational language when supporting your child - When you partner with your child in their learning, celebrating their effort and inviting them to receive your support, they engage more in the learning process. Choose invitational language, like us, all children love choice. click here to check out our blog post for a deep dive into this topic !

3.Catch them winning! - It is so easy for our children to lose their motivation. A few errors can lead to questions of - ”am I good enough”. Comparison to others or to the “standard” can really be the thief of their joy and motivation and can affect their confidence. As parents, we can help to fuel their motivation . Catching them winning and celebrating what they are doing well makes such a difference in maintaining and encouraging their motivation. Click here to read more about Fueling their Motivation

4.Watch how you respond when things go wrong. How did you respond when your child last did something wrong or brought home a poor grade? Did you respond positively and with encouragement? Or, after an exhausting day, did the expression on your face show your discouragement? It's always hard to see those you love struggle. Even often harder than if it were you struggling yourself. What are they observing in you? What hidden fears are we demonstrating? Yes, our children are always watching. The good news is that errors are part of the learning process. Learn more about getting comfortable with errors as you encourage them to press into the ‘edges’ of learning. For more on this subject, click here to read our post .

I am with you! I’ve been there, both as a parent of 4 (now adult graduates) and as a teacher. I’ve struggled with all of the above. You’re not alone in this. Choose one area that is most jumping off the page at you and take action.

See the beauty that unfolds and reach out so I can celebrate your win!

I’m cheering for you.

Three steps to encourage a growth mindset.

breah@deliberateu.com (Breah Robinson) — Fri, 05 Nov 2021 23:28:12 GMT

How can you, as a parent encourage a growth mindset in your child?

As a parent and an educator, I have observed that the most important thing for your child's success is to help them embrace a growth mindset. This idea of a growth mindset is not a new concept. Our parents would have expounded the strength of a strong work ethic; to get up off the ground after a fall and 'get back on the horse'. In simple terms, a fixed mindset says 'I can't" and a growth mindset says "I am not able yet..., but with practice, the right resources and consistent effort over time, I will grow in those abilities".

I observe that it can be easier to blame external causes or find solutions that are outside of the students' control. What if, instead we came alongside them in the problem and looked for a solution together. Would that not give them the message more that we believe they can accomplish it, with support?.

If you'd like to learn more about the power of applying a growth mindset, click here to read a previous blog post that explains this in more detail. Today, I am sharing 3 simple steps to help your child embrace a growth mindset over a fixed mindset.

Today, I am sharing 3 simple steps to help your child embrace a growth mindset over a fixed mindset.

1.Choose & embrace challenges instead of avoiding them

Help your child step into challenges to embrace a learning journey

Choose a more challenging subject - while taking an easy course can offset the pressure and help them get good grades, the challenge courses will require them to learn study habits that will increase their capacity for learning. Then they gain the confidence to take on more challenges that open up their opportunities.
Encourage them if they wish to take on a complex project-with your support they will learn more in carrying through on their ideas-that you can help them right size to success.

2. See effort and failure as part of the journey rather than focusing on the failure or “mistake” Celebrate effort

Remind your child that they are designed to grow and get better throughout life and mistakes are part of how we learn.

When your child brings a poor grade back from school help them go through the test or assignment and identify where they went wrong and correct it.
Create a list of how they can improve next time, (read questions twice, show all steps, highlight information given) then celebrate the learning they got in the process of correcting their mistakes..

3. Celebrate the success of other students

Be inspired by friends or classmates who have worked hard or have just created or learned something cool rather than feeling behind or worried.

Have you ever viewed other’s success as a challenge or a threat to your child’s? Increased the pressure on your child by comparing them to others?
Support your child in seeing and celebrating others successes and the effort another has put in to learn a skill. Build a culture in your home celebrating effort and learning.

How does that feel? Does it feel like a good start?

Think about how you have viewed your child’s education or responded in different situations like the ones outlined above, what are you going to do over the next month to adjust your style to encourage a growth mindset?

Choose one tip from above to move forward with your child today.

We all need some inspiration!

Sat, 02 Oct 2021 19:20:18 GMT

How one 9-year-old inspired a nation...

If you’re like me, you could use a bit of inspiration. With the news continuing on with messages that often seem contradictory, I noticed a bit of malaise creeping over me. Yes, we are back in school and no, masks are not so bad, but the restrictions can dampen our hope.

I find students motivate me, children inspire me; because they have that hard to manufacture quality called hope. They look at the world with wonder and hope and we can’t help but be inspired walking alongside them.

Take a pause this Saturday and read an inspirational story of a 9-year-old boy who overcame great adversity to move forward, in the year 1932.

As always, reach out for help. We want to support you and your children well. Put up your hand - aka -hit reply and sign up for a free conversation to discuss how to help your child advance in their academic skills.

Lennie Gwyther and Ginger Mick an Inspiring Story

“So picture this. It’s 1932 and Australia is in the grip of the Great Depression. One in three workers are unemployed. Decrepit shanty towns hug the outskirts of the big cities. A scrawny rabbit caught in a trap will feed a family for a week. Country roads are filled with broken men walking from one farmhouse to another seeking menial jobs and food.

On the outskirts of the South Gippsland town of Leongatha, an injured farmer lies in bed unable to walk – or work. World War I hero Captain Leo Tennyson Gwyther is in hospital with a broken leg and the family farm is in danger of falling into ruins.

Up steps his son, nine-year-old Lennie. With the help of his pony Ginger Mick, Lennie ploughs the farm’s 24 paddocks and keeps the place running until his father can get back on his feet.

How to reward him?

Lennie has been obsessively following one of the biggest engineering feats of the era – the construction of the Sydney Harbour Bridge. He wants to attend its opening. With great reluctance, his parents agree he can go.

So Lennie saddles up Ginger Mick, packs a toothbrush, pyjamas, spare clothes and a water bottle into a sack, and begins the 1000+ kilometre trek to Sydney. Alone. That’s right. A nine-year-old boy riding a pony from the deep south of Victoria to the biggest and roughest city in the nation.

Told you it was a different era. No social media. No mobile phones. But even then it doesn’t take long before word begins to spread about a boy, his horse and their epic trek. The entire population of small country towns gather on their outskirts to welcome his arrival. He survives bushfires, is attacked by a “vagabond” and endures rain and cold, biting winds.

When he reaches Canberra he is welcomed by Prime Minister Joseph Lyons, who invites him into Parliament House for tea. When he finally arrives in Sydney, more than 10,000 people line the streets to greet him. He is besieged by autograph hunters. He becomes a key part of the official parade at the bridge’s opening.

He and Ginger Mick are invited to make a starring appearance at the Royal Show. Even Donald Bradman, the biggest celebrity of the Depression era, requests a meeting and gives him a signed cricket bat.

A letter writer to The Sydney Morning Herald at the time gushes that “just such an example as provided by a child of nine summers, Lennie Gwyther was, and is, needed to raise the spirit of our people and to fire our youth and others to do things – not to talk only. “The sturdy pioneer spirit is not dead … let it be remembered that this little lad, when his father was in hospital, cultivated the farm – a mere child.”

When Lennie leaves Sydney for home a month later, he has become one of the most famous figures in a country craving uplifting news. Large crowds wave handkerchiefs. Women weep and shout “goodbye”. According to The Sun newspaper, “Lennie, being a casual Australian, swung into the saddle and called ‘Toodleloo!'"

These days you can find a bronze statue in Leongatha commemorating Lennie and Ginger Mick.”

from Garry Linnell's article in The New Daily”

What can we learn from this 9 year old when thinking about our own children? How can this inspire you in supporting in their learning journey? Let it sink in and fill you in those toughened places and consider how you too might move forward this coming week.

Do you prioritize self care?

Fri, 17 Sep 2021 13:06:11 GMT

Self Care is the fuel you may be missing!

“What does self care look like for me? With all that I am doing to try to be a great parent, how do I ensure I show up at my best? Do I really make time for myself? Do I have Me time?”

I realized as a parent that I did a lot of deferring of my own needs. I'd forget to brush my teeth or bring a sweater for myself, when I had more than enough sweaters for my children. When I was nursing my babies I remember being thankful for the mirror by the door that, with a quick peek, reminded me that I had forgotten to take care of myself before I left the house. We have heard the reminder from the flight attendant to put our own mask on before the mask on our child.

So...how do we care for ourselves?

Step 1. We need to teach our children to respect us . Yes, for their sakes, they need to be taught to appreciate you. The first step to doing that is to respect ourselves. To carve out time for yourself, you need to train your children to wait, that there are times they need to be quiet, that they do not need to be the centre of attention. They will learn to respect those boundaries. This skill will carry forward for them in the skill of respecting teachers, grandparents and their fellow person.. In turn, as they respect others, they will receive respect. As a high school teacher, I am continually impressed by those students who take the time to thank me for the instruction or for the added help I offered. I have great respect for that.

If you are thinking… Yes, children are self focused by nature, it's not their fault, it is part of their development. You are right. That is where we all start. In addition, as described in the ‘marshmallow effect’ experiment, the ability to wait, to put their immediate needs in the context of a greater goal will result in higher achievement. The marshmallow effect case study demonstrated that young children who waited to eat the marshmallow in front of them with a reward offered to get 2, showed, over a longitudinal study, a higher IQ than the children who did not wait, only getting one. Their ability to delay gratification was directly linked to a higher cognitive development. Learning to delay gratification doesn’t just happen to them, we, as parents train this by teaching them to delay their needs for a higher goal. By prioritizing our own self care, we can care for our children better over the long haul as they learn to delay their immediate needs for a higher goal.

This philosophy meant that my husband and I prioritized couple time also. A weekly date night , a quarterly weekend to ourselves, a yearly week away. At first, this felt to me ,as a mom, like I was abandoning my children. They clung to my ankles or at later stages spoke of the loss or boredom of having to be cared for by the grandparents or the tension with a peer in the friends’ family who were caring for them. But guess what...now as adults they reference the things they learned being in the friends home or the memorable connection time with their grandparent. Learning that mom and dad took time away was a great investment in their future - a model of a healthy marriage.

Yes, you love your children. Yes, you are learning to be the best parent. Yes, you are your best self when you care for you. You are the leader. You need to sharpen the saw. Keep your tools sharp by investing in you.

What does investing in you look like?

Observe your Time. When you had time, what do you enjoy? Remember what brought you joy.
Brainstorm. Take an evening on your own or with your spouse and brainstorm ideas as if there are no barriers. what's possible?
Identify barriers and address them. Bit by bit look for creative ways around those barriers...what is the driving need and how you might make time for your interests differently?

For example, I am a people person. During covid, those people that I used to walk with, I pivoted and instead called them on the phone and walked at the same time. We still walked together, connected over the phone, but on separate paths. In fact, I connected with people from my past and across geographical regions because I was not limited to walking side by side in person.

I am not trying to tell you that this is easy in any way. But it is possible. I would suggest you start by implementing one of the things that I have mentioned above and begin. A moving vehicle is easier to steer than one that is standing still. Just start!

Fuel Their Motivation - keep motivation at the forefront

Fri, 10 Sep 2021 18:03:22 GMT

Keep motivation at the forefront of their education

Motivation is the energy we all operate out of. You likely witnessed your child’s motivation this summer. Perhaps it shone in your child’s eyes when they raced outdoors for a pick up game of basketball. Perhaps you saw the glimmer of it in the discovery of an insect fluttering over the grass or a shriek of glee as a frog escaped their net with such powerful back legs. Perhaps it was the amazement of the night sky that stretched 360 degrees while lying on their backs or the delight of a shared meal they helped create. Perhaps you witnessed it in a smile while watching someone they love receive their help or the laughter they received in their well timed joke.

There is a saying, ‘It's your own fault if you fail to manage your motivation”. We need to be motivated. Motivation is our source of energy. Therefore, your child’s motivation is integral to their academic plan. Where does this motivation come from and how do we cultivate it?

4 tips to cultivate your child’s motivation.

1. Remember WHY it is important.

Spend time with your child to help them understand the ‘why’ of each part of their academic plan. All rules and structure are for a good reason. If they are not well reasoned, establish some process whereby your children can voice a different approach.

At DeliberateU Tutoring, we support the structure of daily reinforcement, with the goal of 15 min of homework a day. This is supported after each tutoring session with a summary report of key learning and an easy checklist at the base so students can track their habits and their progress easily-to celebrate their wins!.

Why daily reinforcement? Why 15 minutes?

The science shows that regular repetition in short segments promotes the best learning. 36 days of reinforcement builds a habit. Daily learning habits are the leading indicator for academic success. (Yes, even more than their starting IQ )

2. Envision the future - envision the success if you do it and feel the regret if you don’t.

Again, this process is for you and your child together. They need to envision what success looks like for them. One young male student receiving tutoring had a goal to be ‘faster than the girls’ in his multiplication facts. Each month we would check in with the question. :"Are you faster than the girls yet? "When we restated his goal and his source of motivation, he was reminded of what he was building towards… and one day he strode into the session confidently stating 'I beat the girls'.

3. Create a supportive environment - Fill your home with authentic celebration.

Say out loud the progress you see -each time you see it. "You sat down to do your homework as you said'. "Wow , you really focused '. "Nice of you to offer your brother help'. "good of you to notice that detail'.

Help support their studies with a good physical space. Perhaps you can offer some time to help them set it up. Remember to give them a voice in what works for them.

Encourage them to find school supports .

Their Teacher -Practice some good questions to ask and how you might ask them . Try role playing this important skills. For example, arrive a little early or lag behind at break to catch a moment with your teacher. "Could you go over the last example again after break?"as well:

Their peers. Help them identify skilled students who they might team up with. What kind of skills-well they can learn to see the skills in each of their peers and choose to get support with those who have skills in areas they are weak. For example-social skills-organization skills-problem solving skills-recall of details-they always remember, kindness-they always encourage-math fact skills. Help them practice teaming up with fellow students who are good at things they are not. Suggest they ask that student for help by acknowledging their peers gift first and then asking for their support." You are good at getting the details-can i run my list by you to make sure I didn't miss anything?" Suggest pairing up with a motivated hard working friend to study together.

4. Take breaks when needed Brainstorm a list of what refuels them: Time outside, a ride on a bicycle, a call with a friend, a physical task, solving a small problem, building or creating or designing.

Whenever they get foggy or have a dip in motivation, they can grab one of these 'breaks' to refuel.

The bottom line - pay attention to your motivation!

Establishing Boundaries That Support Not Inhibit

Fri, 03 Sep 2021 23:26:24 GMT

Can boundaries promote freedom?

How do we frame up our success? In a culture that promotes freedom, boundaries seem like a negative idea. This might seem like a contradictory statement but do you think that boundaries can in fact promote freedom?

I know I do. To illustrate this concept, let me tell you a story...

There was an elementary school that had a full yard around it and a fence. The children would play in the full area of the fence enclosure. One day, the fence needed to be repaired, so it was taken down. The space around the school still existed, but without the fence, the children did not play to the full extent of the grounds. Instead, without the fence, the children played around the perimeter of the school, hugging the brick walls. Without the boundary fence, the sense of safety was reduced and the children played close to the walls of the school.

In my own experience raising my own children , working as a teacher for 30 years and in working with adolescents, clear boundaries bring safety. More active and challenging children actually need clear boundaries more than others; odd but true. Vague and unspoken rules bring more confusion and unrest.

Have I made a compelling argument? Do you think that boundaries can promote freedom?

Do you think it is worth taking some time to help create a structure with your child's input to bring more ease and success in their academic journey?

If this seems like the right move for you to take, I would suggest the following:

Take the time with your children in preparing for school to talk through clear boundaries.
Invite them into the process of establishing a clear structure for their school year.
Consider writing it down and posting it somewhere visible and easy to check.

Can the structure be flexible?

Well yes and no. No, not under discussion daily. No means no. However, the structure can be like a 'draft' or first try schedule. It can be adapted at a designated pre appointed time. Perhaps visit the boundaries after a week. Then monthly. Avoid the temptation to revisit these boundaries daily. Children will play to the extent of those boundaries and test the line. Letting them adjust them or question them daily will just bring confusion and steal a lot of everyone’s time. Hold the structure until your next meeting. You know these boundaries will bring ease and , as children, it will take them some time to see this.

Take the time now to have the conversation and set up the boundaries for the first week. Set up a meeting for the Sunday or two Sundays after the start of the fall to revisit questions. If your child has concerns, have them put them on a meeting agenda list to be discussed at the next meeting. They will feel heard, and once the two week period is over and the meeting is there, many of the small foibles may have worked themselves out. In the meantime, because they are written on the agenda, they know they will be addressed and the daily banter that can happen around rules will be eliminated.

Boundaries bring safety. Give your child a voice in the structure to ensure their concerns are heard and addressed within the boundaries of a clear rhythm. Hold to the structure for enough time to see the results. When those results come, help your child make the connection between their success and the daily reinforcement work they did within the structured time. Their results will reinforce the helpful boundaries.

You can do this!

Catch Them Winning!

Sat, 28 Aug 2021 12:51:33 GMT

Join them in their forward motion vs setting the pace.

In a classroom management seminar that I attended, I learned the power of stepping back to observe the room. As a task oriented person, I typically move first to directing the process and making it happen. What I realized with this approach is that while I can get students to follow, they may not be engaged. If it's my idea, they may just follow blindly, without engagement or interest and perhaps without thinking for themselves. On the flip side, if I step back, observe and leave space, a different dynamic can emerge.

Left with a good question and some space, people will begin to work through an idea in their own head. With a safe environment created, they will share their ideas. With encouragement, many more people will share their ideas. With these shared ideas, we get collaboration as together they begin to think for themselves and together. What happens here is quite exciting.

With this new situation, they begin to get engaged and invested in ideas because they had a part in creating them. This is where the parent and teacher can jump in and help steer them in the right direction. It is hard to get a canoe to turn until you get some forward momentum. In the same way, once your boat is moving (the ideas are flowing) you can then begin to steer their ship by asking good questions like:

How do you know if this is true? (what are the facts?)
What approach may help you decide the answer?
Are there other questions that emerge?
Are there additional resources we should consider?
What would be a good next step?
How could we measure or evaluate this?

As a facilitator of learning, there is a sweet spot to facilitating the process; between giving space and offering suggestions to get them unstuck. Acknowledging and paraphrasing the good thinking along the way brings a safety to the process so people step in and contribute. Posing good questions and offering suggestions from your experience, all help steer their momentum and thinking forward.

The terms PARTNERING and INVITATION are good ones to practice. Keeping sight of the end goal is your job. Keep bringing that clarity forward and invite them, partner with them to get the results in a way that they see, and move forward. You will see them engage and their interest drive the results.

This is not laissez faire parenting. Rather, you know and hold the standard that learning is their job as you know the importance of that end outcome. You have the experience that they do not. You are the parent for good reason. You know a good education yields the skills they need for healthy independence. By paying attention and partnering with them in the “How’ to accomplish this, engagement and ownership increase and they are further forward toward healthy independence.

What to do next:

Step back to observe what is already happening without you.
Grab a skill they learned on their own this summer. Start there.
How did they engage and learn that skill?
What did you observe in their energy and approach?
From that winning place, identify the skills they used to do this and see how these skills could transfer to academic learning this fall.

The Power of Invitational Communication

Thu, 19 Aug 2021 00:41:02 GMT

Partnering with your child for best academic results.

Do you remember the last time someone told you what to do? I was laughing at myself at the cottage this week, as my friend jokingly told me how to improve my form in an exercise I was doing on the dock. I didn’t receive it well. In contrast, the day before, I had been attempting to do a back dive again that I hadn’t done in years. My daughter celebrated my efforts. Great job mom! With that affirmation, I became curious at her perspective of the dive and wondered how it looked. She saw me ponder and said. ‘Would you like me to video tape it mom?’ She invited me to observe and to have the opportunity to improve. I agreed. I felt more confident with her recognition. I wanted feedback. I wanted to have the opportunity to improve it. I wanted to do well.

The invitational approach excited me and gave me the desire to learn.

When you partner with your child in their learning, celebrating their effort and inviting them to receive your support, they too can choose to engage in the learning process.

An author and clinical child psychologist, Ross W. Greene, PhD says “Children do well if they can, and if they can’t, we as parents and teachers need to figure out what is getting in their way.” We all want to succeed. Success is a process. It is not about what we are or are not now, our identify or ‘fixed mindset’. Instead, it is about our current skills; what skills we have and don’t and how we continue to apply our effort in the right direction to get the result s we want, a ‘growth mindset.’

For more information on growth mindset check out my post from a few weeks ago .

Invitational communication is NOT controlling but rather about partnering with our child. As we prepare for the busy fall, I encourage you to sit down and have a conversation with your child about HOW you can partner with them in a way that works best for them and for you. The ‘what’ is given, their job as students is to build their base of knowledge. That doesn’t change. Inviting them into the idea that the ‘how’ of learning is flexible and inviting them into helping design a plan that works well for them, will invite their engagement.

For example:

There can be flexibility as to when they do their daily homework - early am, after school, at the supper table before or evening hour.
There can be flexibility as to where they do their homework - quiet space or around a group table alongside others.
There can be flexibility to their approach to their homework - reinforcement by rewriting linear notes, central theme branched notes like the hub of a wheel or putting review material into a song.

If they have a voice in the how, they will be more invested in the outcome. You can then reevaluate the plan regularly, with more frequency at the beginning and less as you get to a routine that works for all of you (once a week to begin with and monthly later on). Adjust the plan until it works. Together, you are partnering in the ‘how’ of learning until you get the success you are both looking for. To learn more about how to set up this conversation with your child, watch my video ” Distance learning-5 tips to success ” (you don’t need to be preparing for distance learning for this video to be helpful).

Pay Attention

Fri, 13 Aug 2021 23:19:32 GMT

The more you pay attention to your child the more they will learn.

You can learn almost everything you need to know about your children by paying close attention to them. It's not easy, especially in today's rush-rush world. Not many of us can take life at a leisurely pace, and I know I'm not the only parent who's made multitasking a lifestyle. I read in the bathtub. I talk on the phone while cooking or gardening. I'm writing this at home while eating Thai noodles with basil and chicken.

Multitasking is not always appropriate. Children require focused attention. No, not every moment, but much of the time. If you don't really know your child, how will you understand what's wrong when things go wrong? How will you pick up the clues when your child is struggling in school? How will you understand how to make learning work best for your child?

It is theoretically a good idea… Use your multitasking to free up time to spend with your kids.

Focus

Parenting requires time. Building effective, positive learning habits requires paying attention to what is working and what is weak in your child's learning habits. Invest the time upfront, it will be worth it. Smiles, confidence, and a more open future are worth the time.

Big and Little “Troubles”

The odd thing is that, contrary to popular belief and the dim, vain hopes of sleep-deprived new parents, parenting doesn't become easier as your children grow. When your child is a baby, yeah, you're changing diapers, nursing, and burping the baby every five minutes. As your kid gets older, less minute-by-minute attention is required but with a baby, your worries are relatively small. The older your child gets, the more things can go wrong. School, friends, behavior, independence issues—as the old Yiddish saying goes: “Little children, little troubles. Big children, big troubles.” The good news is that young children learn rote activities. If you start early, making 15 minutes a day sit-down homework (same time and place) a rote activity, your young child will already have the learning habit that makes the most difference to improved grades.

Now, more than ever, your kids need you to pay attention.

Pay Attention! Easier Said Than Done

I can tell you the importance of both quantity and quality time when you're trying to raise well-educated kids, but it won't do you or your kids any good if you simply clear your schedule or quit your job. It's not enough to be there, hands idle, ears perked. Paying attention means more than being physically present. It means learning how to listen to your kids. Sometimes just listening is enough help. As your child speaks, It helps them organize their thoughts and sound them off with someone they trust. By thinking out loud, it gives them the opportunity to test out their thinking and try on the ideas, to contextualize and decipher the themes. To help, paraphrase a summary every once in a while to clarify that you have heard them correctly. Asking them questions to encourage them to check the facts of their conclusions can help them right size their perspective. If the facts don’t line up, you can ask them why they think that way? Help them think through the facts. People tolerate your conclusions but act on their own. Help them think through their conclusions by asking questions. (Rest assured, you can still have a busy life and do all this).

Good, quality attention will improve your understanding of the way your child thinks. When you listen to your child, you will hear where the barriers are and you can strategize with them to get what they need to be more successful. Pay attention to them to see if you need to cue up more support to help them build the learning habits for their success.

When things go wrong

Sat, 07 Aug 2021 16:22:02 GMT

Operating from a growth mindset

In last week’s blog, an opportunity vs. a barrier , I reflected on the beauty of a combination of the two perspectives: the glass half full and the glass half empty. The half full perspective is looking at a situation optimistically which in turn motivates others to dream and think forward towards new opportunities. That optimism in isolation of accurate information collection, however, can be unrealistic. On the other side, the glass half empty perspective in isolation can lack the hope of an improved future. A combination of the two perspectives brings balance and health.

In the same way, we want to reflect on the balance when things go wrong. Let's think about an example for a minute… let's say your child returns with a poor grade.

The glass half full perspective could quickly go to optimism, encouraging the child with vague general statements like, ``You'll do better next time” and “I believe in you”. While that is nice that someone is on their side-they lack the data or measurement to identify what in fact went wrong.
The glass half empty parent might ask to look over the test with the student and find all the places where the child went wrong and create a list of things to fix, perhaps forgetting to share the optimism of , “hey, I see a theme with these errors-if we fix that one inaccuracy in those questions-you could gain 5 whole points”.

This is where the concept of a growth mindset can be super helpful as it is a wonderful combination of both perspectives. The general concept and research behind a growth mindset explains that in situations, you can either operate with a growth mindset or a fixed mindset. Fixed mindset statements are ones that state a closed door to learning, where growth mindset statements look to where change can bring an improvement. A fixed mindset statement would be “I’m not good at this”, whereas a growth mindset statement would be “What am I missing?”.

Check out these additional examples! I think you will be surprised to hear the difference.

Operating with a growth mindset is such a powerful approach because then the focus is no longer on the result but rather the attitude of looking for growth.

I encourage you to:

Watch this video from Carol Dweck to really master the concept of growth mindset.
Print out the list above and paste it on your wall.
Have your child rephrase their fixed mindset statements with the corresponding growth mindset approach.

Through this, you will see the power of things going wrong and the beauty of the learning that comes from these.

An Opportunity vs a Barrier

Fri, 30 Jul 2021 17:56:05 GMT

How do you see new challenges?

Have you ever noticed that some people see a new situation from a positive angle and others will see the same situation from a negative one? Have you thought about which approach you would prefer to be around? Which approach are you more likely to want to collaborate or team with? Which approach is more likely to move a situation forward well?

It’s interesting how much of an impact how you (or others) see/approach a situation has on your ability to move forward. On one hand, someone who sees everything as positive while seemingly ignoring and walking right on by a spouting, leaking faucet (or a big problem) is not helpful. On the other hand, someone who is overly analytical and critical in situations is also not helpful. The overly analytical person will catch the leaks and get them fixed but they will probably miss the good things going on in the moment that the positive person caught and recognized.

We need a balance of both perspectives

Can I suggest that we can look at these weak links (leaky faucets) with the positive angle of the optimist? Look at the half glass of water with a half-full perspective. What would it be like if we were realistic, looking to be aware of the places that ‘need to improve’ and see the opportunity as opposed to the barrier?

In the heart of COVID... we had the temptation to let our mindset go either way; see the barrier or see the opportunity. I would suggest, that in the midst of a lot of tough things, we could choose a half-full perspective. While we lost group sports, we gained wide gameplay with our neighbours. We may have lost in-class time, yet we gained further understanding of our families by working alongside them and seeing their work worlds. We lost food in restaurants and gained fun experiences in the kitchen. We missed in-person connections while gaining connections with a wider community.

Perhaps our moments are worth looking at with both of these perspectives ; both seeking solutions to address barriers while remaining aware and grateful for the opportunities in everyday moments.

I would suggest that you teach your children to see from both perspectives. Help them practice and be thankful for these opportunities in the midst of hard times. With this mindset shift, they will see the beauty and opportunities in change instead of the obstacles and barriers.

What key skills do they need? Part 2

Thu, 22 Jul 2021 22:42:21 GMT

Focus on the fundamentals! Let's talk about those key skills.

In last week’s blog , I addressed the value you, as a parent, bring to your child’s education. Yes, you know your child best. Your commitment and awareness of your child, coupled with an ‘in-house’ view of school during the pandemic has given you some good information about what is necessary to build your child’s academic skills.

With all of the information available, you quickly realize there is a lot to know and not quite enough time. The danger we all encounter with information is having too much or not the right information. It can overload us! The question becomes, how do you know what matters most for a child’s academic success? Being clear on what fundamentals your child needs for their success is a powerful position to take as a parent. You, as a parent, can step in with oversight on the fundamental learning priorities and help your child work well with their teaching team to learn those key skills. This is something you CAN control

You can control things like identifying the priorities and designing a plan to address those priorities.

STEP BACK

Let me step back for a moment and look at the big picture overview of your child’s education. In my varied experience as a teacher and parent, I have been fascinated with and focused on understanding how people learn. I also understand how to help students meet course objectives that sometimes are harder to relate back to the core skills these requirements are producing.

With the above experiences, I emphasize the importance of academic fundamentals. What are these?

TOOLS IN THEIR TOOLKIT

The fundamentals are like the tools in your child’s tool kit. They are the tools they will have in their base knowledge that will allow them to solve problems, put together well-supported positions with well-researched reliable sources, and the skills to communicate those ideas with the people around them in a way that they can understand and move forward.

As a list these FUNDAMENTALS would include what we used to call, the 3 R’s:

Reading
R - Writing
R - Arithmetic (Mathematics)

And

Public Speaking-confidence in communicating ideas and ‘thinking on your feet’ communicating with little prep time.
Thinking-Deciphering information, Learning how to think critically and problem solve-make decisions.

Yes, the other subjects are important too. The skills above, however, will enable students to unpack and work with those other subjects successfully. Let me give you more detail and examples.

Reading: They can read and comprehend complicated concepts because they have a strong vocabulary, they can decode, they can identify an analogy and an inference.

Writing: they can articulate an idea with a solid sentence, leading to a solid paragraph and eventually a well-formed essay. They can spell, handwrite legibly and address an issue in conversation by raising a point and supporting it with facts.

Arithmetic (Mathematics):

Numeracy Understanding: They have a solid base of understanding in the concepts of addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division so they can work with a family of facts and move in multiple directions.
Memorization: They have memorized the number facts, specifically addition and multiplication tables which allow them to then reverse or look for the missing number in the family of facts to subtract and divide. Rote memorization of math facts gives them the speed in computation that allows them to solve problems faster with the facts at their fingertips.

As each new math concept is built upon this base: Order of operations BEDMAS, Algebra, asking deeper thinking questions will build their ability to unpack word problems even when they are phrased differently and come from a different approach than practiced. Thinking through these word problems out loud will allow your child to follow your thinking, learn that pattern and use it themselves over time to unpack a new problem posed.

THIS SUMMER, TAKE THE TIME

Take the time this summer to:

Reflect on these key academic skills, the fundamentals of their success, and reflect realistically on where your child’s skills currently are.
Consider how to focus more on these key priorities in the context of those everyday school assignments.
Make daily homework a priority and prioritize your time to be nearby. You can then be asking the key skill questions in the midst of their daily assignments and tests that will link the knowledge being tested back to the bigger picture key skills you are ensuring are being built. See specific examples in What key skills do they need? Part 1

By identifying the priorities and designing a plan to address those priorities, you can be accessed regularly for support and focus your support on building your child’s key priorities, the fundamental skills, which will ensure that they are set up for success.

What skills do they need?

Sun, 18 Jul 2021 03:02:06 GMT

Identifying what's most important!

In the academic world of school over COVID, you had to step in and take a more active role in your child’s education. In the process of stepping in to support your children being home online, you had to redesign the schedule to allow for multiple people working and living in one space. You did some adjusting.

To adjust well, you have to identify and establish key priorities. If you have read Stephen Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” or “7 Habits of Highly Effective Families” the author likens priorities to ‘big rocks’ in a jar, the jar being analogous to your life. If you are filling your jar, your life, with big rocks (your biggest priorities) gravel, sand, and water (the things that don’t matter much but fill our time), all ONLY fit if the big rocks go in first. This is like our big priorities in life. If they don’t get put in first, we end up not having any time left to put those in after (if this feels confusing, click here to watch Stephen Covey explain it ). To start this, we first need to identify those key priorities!

IDENTIFY THE PRIORITIES

What are the big priorities - the big rocks in the jar of your child’s learning?

If you don’t identify those, they will get squeezed out by all the lesser priorities that are often easier or more straightforward.

For example , finishing the homework assigned becomes the biggest priority but without a clear idea of what the homework is teaching, building in your child, you and your child will just look to check another task off the list, without considering the larger priority of how that task can grow the key skills coming from the homework or project.

As a parent, what would be the power of YOU identifying the academic priorities of your child?

1.For example, if learning to decipher information and think forward is a key goal you have identified for your child to learn, would that change the approach you take in supporting them with that assigned project?

Sure it would. Instead of just driving with your child to ‘get it done’, you would stand alongside them to ask the questions like:

What is most important in the information you are reading?
What is the key objective of this assignment?
What are the key questions the assignment and the teacher are requesting?

Why?
What’s most important about that?

What can you learn from this material that would bring some value from the research?
What value can that bring to the situation, the problem posed, the issues we face as a community?

2. Here’s another example… you identify that a strong conceptual understanding of mathematics is a key priority for your child. When they are approaching practice questions or word problems, how would this adjust the way you support them?

Your questions might dig deeper to say:

Why do you move that variable to the other side of the equation?
What is that move based on?
Does that make sense to you?
Why not?

By identifying the logical steps that mathematics is built upon, you will begin to see where some of the gaps are that have your child stuck. Instead of the student and yourselves wondering….maybe they don’t have a brain for math, you can more specifically see that the place where they got stuck was because a fundamental concept that problem drew upon was missing. Just like the foundation of a house with a crack will result in an out-of-level, unsupported wall you can’t build upon, mathematics breaks down as a result of cracks in the math foundation.

In Transitional Years

In the school system, there are a few transitional years where we see these learning gaps most glaringly.

In Grade 3 , students with slower reading or a less traditional style of learning begin to move behind other students.
In Grade 8 transitioning to Grade 9 teachers are advising whether a student would be best suited for an essential - workplace, an applied - college, or an academic - university pathway.

For some students and parents, these teacher’s suggestions can come as a shock. Whether they were unaware that their child’s curriculum was being modified or accommodated, they were not clear that their child was getting behind. Perhaps they were not clear where the breakdown was happening specifically for their child, so they did not feel empowered to step in and help. In the face of these gaps, we begin to hear the following at home:

“I’m not smart enough”,
“'I don’t like school”,
“Why do I have to do this?”

When anyone feels like they aren’t able to win, they lose interest in playing. This is true for all of us.

Caution... Again... this is a place where many of us parents look to blame the problem on things outside our control; perhaps blaming COVID, online school, a different teaching approach that didn’t work for your child, your child’s issues, your lack of time, or the schedule. Or perhaps you self blame and cycle with being too hard on yourself but not adjusting to consider how to change and move forward?

We likely know that blame doesn’t get us anywhere as we are not addressing what we can control in the problem. It may help and I certainly appreciate a good ‘ugh’, sigh, and perhaps a few tears or a long aggressive walk where I pound the pavement with my feet. Then, at some point, I need to move forward with what I can control .

What We Can Control

You can control identifying the priorities and designing a plan to address the priorities .

Ultimately you know and understand your child the best. You are the person (people) who will stand by them over the long haul. You are the best advocate for their learning journey. There is so much influence you have. Step in and move forward.

Stay tuned for next week. I will be walking you through the key priorities that I have found, in over 30 years of teaching, that are fundamental to learning.

Who are they?

Fri, 09 Jul 2021 22:11:46 GMT

Pause to pay attention to your child and what makes them unique.

This is the 2nd blog post in a summer reflective series inviting you to refocus on what's most important in your child's learning.

One thing we could all agree on, if we were facing reality, is that we could all slow down and observe more.

“Stop and smell the roses” was a popular anecdote to describe the beauty that is found when you pay attention.

Could that be true of raising your child?

What if you took time this summer to slow down and observe your children more?

What if you purposed yourself to see the beauty within them and prioritize paying more attention to them?

What would be the impact of this?

Now… wait a second… if you are anything like me, you are probably going into a guilt loop. You begin to think of all the times you misunderstood, ran over their ideas to summarize because you just had to get that next thing done, lacked patience or provided a solution that made things worse.

Ok...enough of that! Let’s get real.

We can also agree that parenting is the most challenging thing any of us ever does. Why? We love these children so darn much that only the best will do for them. That’s pretty cool isn’t it. That we love that much! Don’t you think that that love is what they remember even after difficult times? Haven’t they ever turned to you with such gentleness and reminded you that it was ok-they didn’t need you to be perfect. ‘Love covers a multitude of wrongs’. Not the wrongs that we don’t own and don’t change or are motivated selfishly for our good but the wrongs that came with good motives, but poor skills or lack of experience or understanding. There is space and grace for those. You are the best parent your child has. Let’s keep moving forward.

How could you structure, brainstorm ideas, or set up some strategies going forward to purposefully pay more attention to your child?

Listening

Could you write down the things your child talks to you about?

What are the themes? What do they enjoy talking about?
Where do they share? in the car, by the sink drying dishes?
What style of sharing do they do? Jokes or funny taglines, emotional moments, silly things their friends do, observations they made in their world, questions they ponder.

Watching

Could you write down the things your child does in their ‘own’ time?

What types of things do they tend to do? work with their hands to build, to play, to perform a trick, talk-communicate -with whom-how-small groups, large groups.
What is it they enjoy and are naturally practicing, participating in, or drawn to?

Seeing the gifts

Could you write down the unique talents you’ve noticed in your child?

What do they do more of or better at?
What focus do they take?
What themes do they follow?
What observations do they make?
What things do they see uniquely?
What motivates them to get up in the morning?
What brings them joy, laughter or has them wanting to know more?
What are they uniquely curious about?

Recognize the Hurdles

Could you identify what gets in the way of their success?

Are there approaches in communication that work best with them-and others you have observed shut down communication?
Are there approaches to learning that increase their engagement and ones that have them look blank and confused?
Do they group information together in themes or communicate details?
Do they think from left to right or from the centre out - like spokes on a wheel?
Do they prefer to watch and try - ask questions and do research before - take one piece of information and try it before trying the next step?
What else can get them stuck or has them moving piece by piece forward?

Celebrating the Person

Putting it all together… Take a few moments to write down a list of specific memories, observations, moments when you thought: ‘that’s interesting-look at what they did there?, huh - i didn’t expect that to happen.

Pay attention and write down the details of your observations when you catch them winning. Yes, you heard that right. Pay attention and observe them in their unique interesting selves. Then...say it, recognize it, take them aside and take a moment to recognize and celebrate them.

Watch, you will see them get energized. There is nothing more encouraging for them than to be seen and known, to feel understood, and as a result feel the value you have for them.

What's next?...a summer series

Sat, 03 Jul 2021 02:16:09 GMT

Moving forward with more clarity

No one wants to hear more about the pandemic; the new normal, the unprecedented times. We’ve had enough. We want a break.

I hear of many people addressing their need for a break by pursuing a way forward in terms of a change: perhaps a retreat to the cottage for the rest of the summer, others buying property in more remote locations to reset their lives and get away, some taking up new opportunities by leaving old professions and resetting their everyday work lives. One person I met took up a hobby and decided to explore that as their main thing. Amid change, which is what we all have been experiencing, there is trial and there is opportunity. With such an extended period of change, all of us really took a good look at our lives. We looked for more perspective. These are some of my thoughts:

I have an opportunity this summer to reflect forward.
I have never thought so seriously about how important it is to take some time to reflect.
I believe I am not alone.

As a teacher, I have learned that an effective way to teach is to actually ‘think out loud’. In the Ontario Literacy assessment some of the most respected English teachers that I asked, ‘How do you teach literacy well,’ said that ‘thinking out loud’ was the most effective way to teach a student how to think.

So...I am inviting you into my thoughts as I think aloud in this summer series.

What’s next? Moving forward with more clarity.

Join me in this reflective weekly summer series as I 'think out loud' alongside you. This reflective process will provide clarity as to how you should invest in your child this coming year.

Distance Learning - 5 Tips to Success

Sun, 25 Apr 2021 20:22:52 GMT

Looking for Ideas?

You were happy with school for your children.

Now you are back in lockdown. UGH!

You can do it!

You know your child best.

We can help you make a plan for their success and support them forward to results.

Follow these 5 steps to re engage your child in learning.

1. Connect their today actions with future results.

2. Do yourself a favour, establish a routine.

3. Invite your child into the 'How' - give choice.

4. Identify measures of success to celebrate their progress daily.

5. You don't need to do this alone!

Watch the video I created this video specifically to help you hard working parents.

I have brought my 15 years homeschool experience with my 4 now adult university graduates and my 15 years as a high school teacher experience to offer you practical support.

Pacing Yourself: 90 Focus, 10 Re Fuel

fiona@deliberateu.com (Fiona Robinson) — Mon, 05 Apr 2021 17:38:34 GMT

Pacing Yourself to build in refueling moments

Any of you, at the end of a long weekend get enough rest to realize how tired you are?

You've been running hard and you've made lots of successful pivots to continual changes we face.

Then, we hear of more Ontario wide changes and more uncertainty.

We will be ok. Who is going to ensure that we are ok? It has to be us. How do we ensure that we will be more than ok? We will more than ok, IF we take charge of our day. Its got to be us, pacing ourselves to include holiday, rest and refuel in EVERY DAY....in fact EVERY hour.

How?

Pacing ourselves every hour... yes, you heard it right. Why wait for holidays until later, re fuel every hour in these 4 specific ways.

This is how is works.

90 minutes Focus and 10 min Re Fuel.

How to Re Fuel-*ya-we are not as good at that! The Power of Full Engagement' by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz calls them Rapid Recovery Rituals

Physical-rehydrate, exercise,

Emotional -connect by phone with a friend, set up a time to anticipate, look forward to

Mental-let my mind wander, put on some music, pull out a sketchpad, grab a moment outside

Spiritual-how I want to be remembered, how do I want to help? revisit my sense of purpose

90 Focus followed by 10 min Re Fuel

Is this a hard and fast 90/10 routine...well it can be. It can also be that you just recognize that our bodies work that way. You can't just ignore your bodies signals to eat, or to sleep, or to walk away. Begin to pay attention to your body and you will see your rising frustration earlier-you will realize you have come to the end of your Focus time and its time to Re Fuel.

Want to learn more?

Tap into your Potential by Mastering Concepts

fiona@deliberateu.com (Fiona Robinson) — Mon, 22 Mar 2021 10:01:11 GMT

Build a Strong Foundation through Mastering Concepts

75% score results means that 25% of the concepts are not yet understood. What happens when more advanced concepts are built on this incomplete base?

Tap into their potential by building the base of mastering concepts.

The tools are accessible for us to do this: Video. Adaptive resources, teaching and supporting exercising agency over their learning with a growth mindset and grit.

What type of equity could we have with this? Think of the rate of progress if mastery was the goal.

Adjust the variables of when and how long that are in their control.

Support them in tapping into their potential with a mastery based learning approach.

Need support? We are here to help.

Keep it Simple-Use Everyday moments

fiona@deliberateu.com (Fiona Robinson) — Sun, 21 Mar 2021 20:44:10 GMT

Keep it Simple-Use everyday moments

As the sun shines with the hope of spring, we reflect on how much time has been wasted on worrying.

What if... what next...why?.

Instead..........lets focus on what we do know and what we can do, the simple things within our reach, that move learning forward.

One day at a time.

One everyday opportunity at a time.

One fundamental skill at a time.

Focus on the Fundamentals: t he academic keys of Reading, Writing and Arithmetic coupled with the learning habits of daily practice and reinforcement.

Look for these everyday problems and take those learning opportunities to move a child's learning forward.

Invite them alongside you in solving the everyday problems and connect the dots between their learning and their future skills.

My husband has figured out how to fix things. A friend asked once, how is it that you know so much about how to fix things and my husband responded. "I grew up poor. If I wanted anything , I had to learn how to do it myself. " While that might have been a disadvantage it is now his advantage. In figuring out how to fix things, his confidence to fix the next problem grew. So... in our home, when he fixed things, he invited our children in to help, saying. 'you might want to see how this is done'. he'd illicit their support in small tasks ' Could you help me ....hold this, grab this tool do this alongside?' While they started small: sorting darks and lights in laundry baskets the tasks continued to expand and their experience and confidence grew. I have images of daughters holding up drywall for an arched alcove molding, a son helping replace the wax ring in the toilet, daughters laying click flooring in the basement, and now as adults they continue : switching their own tires and wiring and creating their own light fixtures and their own homes and the list of skills continues.

Invite your children into the everyday problems you are solving-building their fundamentals by asking them questions and helping them problem solve alongside you..

Everyday tasks that Tie to learning

Taxes, Buying a Car, nutrition-counting , how much cement should we order for the patio, How can we make the treehouse stronger. grocery lists, following a recipe. collating mom's papers, filing in alphabetical order.

And the list goes on.

Keep it Simple. Use the everyday moments. Building their confidence one everyday problem at a time.

4 Ideas to Inspire your Child's Learning

Sat, 24 Oct 2020 14:27:54 GMT

Many of us watched the revealing video made by Olivia, a high school student from Toronto. It’s called “ Numb ,”. It describes what life felt like for a kid who was schooling remotely. If you have three minutes, I encourage you to watch it here before reading my article below:Olivia (Liv) isn’t an unmotivated student. She wins awards and loves going to summer camp, but she’s in anguish over the situation in which she finds herself. She isn’t ready for it. Like millions of other members of Generation Z, she’s stuck at home in front of a computer — in isolation and turmoil. Her situation begs the question:

Why did virtual classrooms struggle?

I believe at least one reason was that students weren’t ready to manage their own learning . While I’m not sure if this was part of Olivia’s dilemma, it definitely was for her counterparts all over North America. It may not be their fault though. Despite the rapid growth of online learning, many students say they still prefer the traditional classroom setting.

In Ontario, 80% of students chose to return to school this fall in person.

Some of the reasons why include:

Technical Challenges. Online learners are often hindered by glitches in technology.
Safety. Virtual learners are frequently exposed to the flaws or dangers of the internet.
Lack of Interaction. Online learners miss out on face-to-face interaction in a class.
Lack of Motivation. Virtual learning lacks the natural incentives of in-person learning.
Lack of Accountability. No harm grading extended grace, which we all appreciated at one level, but delayed the learning forward for some.
Unpreparedness. Remote learners can become distracted since it feels impersonal.

With the addition of in person learning options:

Quadmester scheduling for high schoolers and
live remote teacher support.

The schools are working hard to support our children and ultimately, we still face the challenge of continued change and the need to be prepared to continue online.

Who can best to take charge of their learning but the children themselves.

4 Ideas to Inspire Their Learning - T eaching them HOW to take charge

1. Connect their schoolwork to a goal they value

The challenge for many students is they don’t see the relevance of their current courses and can’t connect the dots to where they want to get in life. Teachers must demonstrate how their course actually will be useful in the future. Parents must pose the question to their kids: do you want to make good income as an adult? Do you want to be able to afford a nice place to live, car to drive and food to eat? Finishing your education well accelerates reaching those goals. Better futures usually belong to the entrepreneurs or the educated. Both of these require a person to be a good learner. They will need to practice the self discipline to achieve it. They have experienced that in one of their personal goals-when they dug in and practiced, they improved. Help them connect to a win and the actions they did that brought about those results.

2. Help them find healthy accountability from people they respect

When I was a student, I always performed better when I was being watched. I played better basketball because fans and cheerleaders were present. I achieved more academically when I worked in a group or invited an accountability partner to ask me how I was doing. Help students find an outsider they respect to meet with them and hold them accountable to commitments they’ve made in school. This must be a person they admire and esteem so it is not an empty process.. Accountability usually leads to responsibility. Sponsorship from others leads to ownership of self.

When driving we often don’t notice guardrails unless we need them — along curvy roads, next to cliffs or in oncoming traffic. Guardrails are present to keep you on the road you choose. So it is with accountability partners. They guard you and prevent you from veering off the road.

3. Level consequences they care about for failure to follow through

Part of our problem with teaching self-regulation is we remove the consequences for failing to keep agreed-upon commitments. Teachers and parents have too often covered for teens, and those students never learned how life works — that there are benefits to following through on commitments and there are consequences for failing to do so. If we rescue our students from consequences, they won’t mature or learn self-management. Maturity occurs when we pay for what we say and do. As much as I identify with the fact that is the worst to watch our child suffer, we can recognize that the suffering of little mistakes is far easier to watch than the suffering of mistakes in later years that have far greater consequences and suffering. There is nothing that teaches better than the natural consequences of our mistakes. Help them to see a failure as one step on the road to success.

4. Change your leadership style from prescriptive to descriptive

This is critical. Part of the reason students are unready to manage their own lives is that adults (parents and teachers) have prescribed each step of the way for them. We didn’t stop managing it for them even as they grew older. At times, parents do their homework for them. Descriptive leadership means we meet with the student and together describe a desired goal, then allow the student to describe the step he or she must take to teach it. While this process may be new and slow, they’ll learn to own their growth. They’ll practice metacognition, making discoveries just in time not just in case, unlike our usual pedagogies. If kids learn on a need-to-know basis, we must create the need to know.

5 Keys to Leading Children Well

fiona@deliberateu.com (Fiona Robinson) — Sat, 17 Oct 2020 12:14:48 GMT

What if Our Approach is part of the Solution?

2020 has been a volatile, unpredictable, complex, and ambiguous year. There is uncertainty about tomorrow.

Children cannot find a leader who is sure about what’s coming next.

Our children look to us and observe our approach.

What they can see

They can spot it when we’re in survival mode.
They observe nuances in our “auto-pilot” leadership.
They can read our sour attitudes and non-verbal communication.
They can see when we’re anxious and nervous about the unknown future.
They can perceive our frustration and disappointment over their poor performance.

What if we Lead in the Certainties?

While we don't know whether school will be in person or online, we know the subject material remains the same.

What if we focused on what we can do well and BE the LEADER THEY NEED in the certainties?

5 Keys to Leading in the Certainties

1. When responding to misconduct, think DISCIPLINE not PUNISHMENT.

When we use the term, “punishment” we focus on the past. If we’re going to equip someone to improve, we’ve got to think “discipline” and focus on the future. Look ahead and consider what you’d need if you were that child and why the error happened, what the gap is. Focus on moving forward. Help them identify what they need and brainstorm strategies to move them forward.

2. When managing a busy household, think CONNECT not CONTROL.

When children act out ,we often move to control of the situation. Unfortunately, control is a myth. Managing a family is an art and those who pursue a connection with their children at the heart level team with their unique motivations and earn the right to direct their actions and intentions.

3. When addressing discouragement, offer feedback from BELIEF not RELIEF.

Every parent can get discouraged alongside their children. We can shift into reacting to relieve our anguish rather than responding to our students. We are frustrated and we begin venting. Instead of relief, think belief. What if you responded with: “I believe you’re capable of more than this. Let's look at where you are stuck and what strategies and supports are needed to overcome this hurdle to help you move forward'

4. When facing a setback, don’t think INTERRUPTION, think INTRODUCTION.

What if you began to see every life interruption as a set up for a teachable moment? What if interruptions could be perceived as introductions to “just in time” learning. What if you approached life as a classroom and everyone and everything as a teacher.

5. When planning students’ recovery, talk HABITS that lead to OUTCOMES

When attempting to help students recover from a poor performance on an assignment, you have more control over their learning habits than their immediate grade.. Help them connect the dots between their actions now and the results that those habits will yield in the future.. Create a list of A+ student behaviours, things they can choose, they can control and have them assess and celebrate their daily habits. These daily habits , in time will yield their desired outcomes.

Keep Enjoying Summer. Your Fall School Support Plan is in Place

fiona@deliberateu.com (Fiona Robinson) — Sat, 29 Aug 2020 18:30:06 GMT

Control the controllables

Feeling a little anxiety about back to school plans ?

According to a recent Toronto star study you are not alone.

The study polled experts from across Canada about the back to school plans in each province.

While Ontario scored in the middle in terms of having a robust plan, their plan was criticized for not being explicit enough, it lacked clarity on back up plans for a number of scenarios. This is producing anxiety. .

Avoid unproductive negative mindsets

Most of the time, people fall into negative mindsets when they lose sight of the things they can control and choose to worry about what’s out of their control. It is important to embrace what we’re feeling–denial is not helpful for mental health–but to also place every attitude and experience into the right bucket. Is it in our control, out of our control, or within our influence? We should respond accordingly. When we only focus on what’s out of our control, the negativity will never go away.

Focusing on what’s in our control empowers us to improve our conditions and adjust our attitudes.

The first step when it comes to adopting a positive attitude is to simply direct your attention towards the good, rather than the bad. In psychology, this is called cognitive reframing, and though it appears to be simple, it has a profound effect on your thoughts and behaviours. Over time, as you make the effort to focus on the positive, you will slowly rewire your brain, so it becomes increasingly easier to do so.

Helen Keller once said, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

What can we control? Having a PLAN for our students' learning and the SUPPORT to carry it through.

As an Ontario Certified high school teacher who homeschooler her now 4 adult university graduates-I am here to help you make a plan. With hired university tutors who are subject experts-I can also help support the plan.

Yes we are online-one on one-using zoom software-highly effective to help focus your student on the right things.

Included is a session report which summarizes the learning, adds reinforcement links to work forward.

Make your plan now!

You don't have to do this alone. We can help.

Book a Free Assessment

Sign your student up for our support.